Harry's Screwing A MUGGLE!
by writerdude3000
Summary: REVIEW AND READ!This is a story about Harry,hating fame and tossing it all away to be a muggle. But one by one, people from his past keep popping up. Now Harry must plunge, head first back into the life he tried to forget. But is he ready?R&R PLLZ!
1. A Little Wood

xX… well hey there! If you don't know me, I've been writing School of Rocks for forever and well, I decided that (after reading HP 6) it was time to see if I was any good at writing other things. So, go and read and review my other stories! REVIEWS MAKE MY DAY and no one hardly ever reviews stories anymore… so REVIEW AND READ AND YAY and ok, I'll stop babbling. Anywho- I hope you like …xX

It had been a long day. First to the gym. A muggle habit and he had picked up. Second to Trinity College School of Continuing Education, another wondrous muggle invention, and than- indulging in some wizardry- to the local quidditch patch.

He hadn't played quidditch. Or been on a broomstick, for that matter in years. He paid the marginal fee, grabbed a battered broomstick from a cupboard, hopped on and kicked off. The sensation was still there, alive and kicking. He zoomed about, changing altitudes as quick as he could. All of his old quidditch memories flooding him again. He went in slow circles around one of the keeper posts as he reminisced… Everything that had happened since he made the decision not to return to Hogwarts for a seventh year of education. Life had changed. But he didn't want to think about that. Not today. Not now that he was discovering, or re-discovering himself all over again. Beginning to come to grips with his life. It seemed like hours, but in reality- he spent mere minutes going over events in his life.

"Oi! You! Ya blockin' the goal! Some of us are trying to have a game 'ere!"

He snapped out of it, looking up. A tall, slender man sat hovering on his broomstick. He smiled when Harry looked up,

"Ya back than, eh? C'mon. Me mates are trying to have a game- get yer ass offa this pitch unless you wanta play!" he said, explaining in a childish, mocking way. The man looked at him, stopped, looked again-

"You've got something on yer forehead…"

"Yeah- who knew…"

"Potter! Ya don't recognize me?" the man said motioning for Harry to fly down to the ground with him. He obliged.

"Sorry, I only keep in touch with a coupla old school friends…"

"Wood you bastard! Oliver Wood you bleeding idiot!" Wood thumped him on the back. Always the handsome teen he was, he had grown into a mature, still quidditch obsessed, still handsome man. Harry bet that his girl friend was sitting in the stands, waving a pennant stupidly cheering. Harry smiled and laughed,

"What in the hell are you doing in Dublin?" Harry asked.

"I'm from here, I'm living here you idiot. I own a pub. Drop by for a pint after the game wontcha? Oh, and by the way- you're seeker ya blow hard. Get yer ass on the field!" Wood was still trying to control and move Harry, but Potter obliged and the sensation of quidditch and flying took over. He was king of the world when he was whizzing about looking for a small golden flying ball. He loved it. They lost. Of course. He hadn't played quidditch or flown on a broom for years. But it was all fun.

Exhausted and exhilarated he showered in the public shower, got his clothes back on and met Wood outside.

"You haven't played in years 'ave ya Potter?" Oliver said, coming up from behind him.

"Naw… haven't been on a broom in double that!" he said cheerfully, "Can't stay long though, I've got a date tonight."

Oliver, no more mature, ribbed Harry, "Oi! Oi! Someone from your year, than? Who is it! Who is it?"

Harry felt himself turning pink and look away, turning back,

"She's a muggle. I met her at Trinity."

"You're datin' a muggle than are ya?" Oliver said, bewildered, "Well, these are modern times they are!"

They had finally appeared at a clean, tidy and woefully small place called the Golden Goblet. The name was written in fancy, old English script above the dark wood paneled place,

"Original," murmured Harry- just loud enough for Wood to here.

"Yea- but it's mine, and I can kick you out if I want to!"

He pushed open the door, not a muggle noticed the place. Oliver ordered two pints from the bar tender whom he called "Heck" and they sat down at a booth,

"So- Potter, whatcha been up ta? You know, I heard the whole Dark Lord stuff, that was years ago- what you been up to in the last couple of years, than?"

Potter sipped the ale slowly,

"Honestly Wood, trying to avoid the wizarding world. I don't want to be a hero. Honest. I just want to be normal. Normal. Wizard Normal. If that makes sense."

"Sure but Potter- you're Harry Potter, that name is synonymous with un normal behavior. Not everyone can claim to have done what you did ya know!"

Harry sighed inwardly… Wood spoke the truth.

"Tell ya what, why don't you come and have a drink tonight after your date? Me and the wife'll be here, along with some old Hoggy Wart pals!"

"Eh… I dunno…"

"What? You want to get laid tonight? Well than do your best, pal. But you can stop by if ya get the chance. Now get outta my bar and go fuck a muggle!" Wood commanded. Potter laughed, finished the pint and left. Making his way around Saint Stephens Green, passing Grafton Street and all the new stylish muggle restaurants and hotels. Harry knew he wanted to live a life somewhere on the fringe of both societies. Never devoting too much to one. But the likelihood of that seemed impossible. He turned the key to his apartment, trudged up the stairs, unlocked his door and set about for his date.

…………………………………………………..

Her name was April. She was a stewardess (**a/k: if you don't know- I'm musical obsessed. Ten thousand points to anyone who can name the musical April the Stewardess is from**). They had had a couple of dates whenever she is in town. Usually mindless sex. She wasn't that smart. But now, she wanted more. And Harry didn't know if he was prepared for 'more'. Needless to say, the ended up having sex. Lots of it. She left at 1. As a joke, Harry pulled on a shirt, some pants, sandals and a sweater and went to see if Woods little party was still going on.

It was.

Harry knocked on the glass. They seemed slightly drunk, though no one had seemingly drunken much their glasses. Wood laughed when he saw Potter and got up to unlock the door, the air was thick and happy inside.

"YA GOT LAID BY A MUGGLE POTTER, EH?" he was clearly drunk. Everyone laughed.

"Harry Potter? Blimey is that you?"

"Fred? NO GEORGE!" Harry said. George nodded,

"Fred's in the loo," they hugged. Next was Oliver's wife. A stunningly beautiful Katie Bell. She greeted Harry with a huge kiss on the cheek and a pint of lager. Than there were a couple of others from Oliver's year whom he didn't recognize. Seamus was there, he apparently had come out of the closet just last year and was kicked out of his family so he was staying with Dean Thomas who was also there. Dean assured everyone that HE wasn't gay. Seamus said he was seeing a "amazingly hunky muggle" named Steve… or was it Blake? Or possibly Carl. He couldn't remember but he did say that he was a great kisser. All in all the party was lots of fun. Harry couldn't remember the last time he had enjoyed himself very much. Hours later there was a short rap on the window. Wood looked up,

"Blimey!" Fred said. Rushing to the door. Harry couldn't see who it was, Katie and her pal blocked the view. The door opened and the most beautiful woman walked in. She was wearing pajama pants and a t-shirt. Her red hair was tinged with chestnut. Her body was gorgeous, all the right curves in all the right places. She looked tired but happy to see Fred. She was also carrying two large suitcases and a huge duffle under her arm.

"Fred. Ohmehgod!" she threw her arms around him. Hugging him tight,

"Ginny what happened to you? C'mon in, Wood- that ok?"

Wood nodded and went back to talking with some old chums. Harry went to sit at the bar next to Seamus as Fred poured her a drink. She sat on Harry's other side.

"He kicked me out…"

"I'll kill him, that fucking bastard!"

"No- Fred, don't know. He's a junkie anyway. Not worth it."

Fred and Seamus laughed.

"Why can't ya ever land yourself a nice respectable man?" Fred asked his sister. She put her bags behind the bar and turned around,

"Oi Oliver! Can I stay in the room above the bar for tonight please? One night only?"

"Sure Honey!" Katie replied before her husband could.

"You could always stay with me you know!" Fred said, "What's wrong with me?"

"Aw shut up Fred. Please." She leaned over and groaned, putting her head on Harry's shoulder. She shuddered and took a sip of her beer, looking at the man she just used as a pillow, "Eh, who's this?" she asked, looking Harry over.

"Ginny." He grinned.

"HARRY?" she said. He nodded, "for fucks sake why didn'tja come over and say hullo the moment I walked in the door? Ya had no problem snoggin' me after that quidditch match I won for ya." She laughed, remembering her school days.

"I've been outta touch with almost everyone but Hermoine…" he sighed.

"What's this Fred tells me about you screwing a muggle? What's wrong with us witches?" she teased when Fred leaned over and whispered something into her ear.

Harry laughed, "She's a stewardess, it's a passing thing…"

"Wha? Just ring her up and," she imitated Harry, "hullo you in town? Great! Fancy me popping over for a nice screw?" Seamus howled with laughter, "and you: Seamus, my first ever first year crush- a fag? What has the world come to?" they both laughed. Fred said he'd check in in the morning and went back to the merry circle of the older. Dean came over, "Right Seamus- I'm heading out. Don't make too much noise when you come in, Kay?"

"Yea"

Dean apparated out of sight.

Seamus went on for a while about how impossible it is to find a nice gay guy that's also a wizard. Harry accompanied Ginny out to have a smoke. She lit up.

"You really shouldn't smoke. It's not good for ya."

"Thanks Surgeon General. I can't indulge every now and than."

He chuckled. She put her foot up against the building and took a deep inhale and let it out.

"What happened to you Harry- you just sorta- dropped off the board."

"I went looking for myself in Australia"

"Bull shit and you know it!"

"I didn't want to be a wizard. I hated it. I hated living like I did. I wanted to become a muggle. So I moved here, to Ireland and started anew. Unfortunately, lots of other Hogwarters did too, or so it seems…"

"you can never fully escape your past," she said. Taking another drawl, "Harry?" she asked. He took a while responding.

"Hmm?"

"Am I ugly?"

"What?"

"I seem to be getting that impression from men these days…"

"Ugly you are not. Gorgeous maybe. Ugly? No way!"

"Well…"

"you so pushed me into that you little skank!"

She laughed.

"You took the bait!"

"Well, I guess… I mean… you are beautiful. At least in this light…" Harry said. Giving a laugh as Ginny hit him playfully on the shoulder.

"That's not a very nice thing to say."

"what? That you're beautiful? Ok. Ugly-As-Hell Weasly. How've ya been?"

"HEY!"

they were silent for a long time.

"You think…"

"I don't know." She finished his thought.

"Did we ever really have something? Or was it all just the strain of things?"

"I'd like to fancy the thought that we had something, though who knows?"

"Yeah." He said. "Who?"

she smashed her cigarette with the heel of her sandal. She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek,

"To Harry Potter- the boy who I might've loved." She laughed.

He in turned leaned over and kissed her softly on the lips, quickly and gently.

"And to Ginny Weasly- the gal **_I_** might've loved."

He hugged her and they went inside to resume the party.

It was 5 am.

………………………………………………….

Harry awoke and the clock read 10:34am. He wasn't in his bed. He was still in his clothes from the night before. The room was a little cramped, but bright and airy. Wood floor and a nice ceiling fan. He leaned over and screamed. Sleeping next to him was Seamus.

"WHAT THE FUUCK!" he jumped out of bed. Seamus's eyes popped open and he in turned screamed.

"HARRY? I? WHA?"

both were hyperventilating and trying to stay calm.

Ginny appeared…

"Oh cool it you two! Ya didn't shag! You two were both too drunk to go home so ya had to sleep in the apartment above the pub. There were only two beds, one for me and one fer you two. You have not, I repeat, have not defrocked each other. Hot as that may be…"

"Shut up!" Harry muttered, he looked back at the clock, "10:36?" he screamed, "shit I'm late for class! He matted down his hair and bolted out of the room.

"Good-bye?" Ginny said after he had gone. Seamus sat down and grinned,

"I screwed him didn't I?"

"No. Get over yaself.!"

xX… well? READ AND REVIEW!


	2. Thinking of Him & Her

xX… well I gotta couple reviews, including one that said I copied all my work from some other story. Lame o. Anywho- enjoy the chapter. Incase you didn't realize a lot of the story will be flashbacks, memories and such. So. Yeah. Peace. …xX

With a quick and soft pop a figure appeared. Than another, and another, and another, and another and another until there were six figures of all different sizes standing on the road. Quietly, with muttered: "shhs" they made their way to the battered house. The tallest of them all quietly pulled out a wand, tapped the door and muttered something. A small click was heard and he pushed the door open…

"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN, ARTHUR?" Came a voice from inside. Arthur opened the door fully to reveal his wife, sitting at the table clutching a cup of tea.

"The game ran longer than we expected," he said. Shooting Harry a glance, "Moll, don't be mad." Arthur seemed tired and fed up. His voice gave that much away at least; the rest came into the house.

"Don't be sore mum, we won!" One of the twins said to his mother.

"I was worried sick, with all this craziness about death and dark lords, I thought you all had been captured… killed…or worse." She said, on the verge of tears. She buried her face in her sleeve. Arthur went over and began to pat her on the back, pulling his wand out he locked the door and continued the patting, motioning for the others to trudge upstairs and get to bed.

Once upstairs, Ron and Harry occupied the washroom, brushing their teeth.

"That was awesome!" Ron said, as he squirted toothpaste onto his brush, "Not as good as quidditch, duh, but it was grand, now I know why Dean is so bloody obsessed with football!"

Harry nodded, brush already in his mouth. He had had to explain everything to the Weasley's. What a red card was, who the specific players were etc… At first, they had found it boring- what with no one getting hurt or flying around but than, after two or three beers- there was nothing else. Ron and Harry were sufficiently drunk- well, most everyone was. Except Arthur, the designated apparator.

"'Night than… we'll talk more in the morning, I'm beat," said Harry, spitting out his paste. He didn't know it at the time but this visit to the burrow would be the last time he'd ever see Ron or the Weasley's for years. Harry fidgeted with his pajama pants and rubbed his eyes, taking off his glasses. He opened the door and closed it, sighing. He put his glasses on the table and sat down on the bed, he could hear George leaving and Fred trudging up the stairs. He got out his wand, muttered Lumos and set it down on the bedside table, giving him just enough light to read. He was reading Directors on Directing. A fascinating look into the world of muggle directing- both theater and film. Lately, muggle books had just been more interesting to him, instead of any others. He sat reading. When at last he heard the last light flick out and Arthur head up to bed and close the door, Harry quietly got up. He opened his door a smidge, saw there was no one there and tip toed up the stairs and across the hall. He quietly turned the knob and opened the door.

The room was dark, a single bed in the middle of the room. Not decorated or festive. Just a bad, a dresser and a window, which was covered by a thick shade. The figure in the bed slept peacefully, turning over every now and than. Harry crept up to the figure and put his hand on its, well her, shoulder. She opened her eyes and before she could stop him he pulled up the blankets and was in the bed. Lying next to her. She turned over,

"Hey Harry," she said.

"Hi Ginny. Long time no see."

She laughed quietly. He turned over so that he was facing her,

"What?" she asked, looking around.

He reviewed the situation in his mind, he was laying in a bed next to the woman he loved. All right.

He snuggled closer to her and she didn't resist. Finally, he put his arm around her and pulled her close. Her body pressing up against his. He kissed her on the top of her head and they lay silent. Right before they fell asleep in each other's arms.

Harry's eyes popped open and he looked at the clock, it read 5:46. Ginny was still asleep, her body sprawled all over the bed. Quietly her got up and opened the door, creeping back to his room, a figure appeared. Wearing a sweater and jeans. He looked at Harry…

"Wanna grab some lunch, than?" he asked. Harry looked at him strangely…

"Yo. Harry. C'mon boy, class is over!"

Harry took a look at the Burrow before closing his eyes. When he opened them he was sitting in a chair in a classroom. His friend Sky standing next to him.

"You had that look you crazy git, what were you thinking about?" he asked him.

"A girl I once knew…" he trailed off, getting up and collecting his bag.

"Wanna get some lunch?" he asked again. Harry nodded and the strode off into the courtyard of the school, past all the tourists and they were about to check the bulletin board when Harry heard something strange,

"The muggle government built this school in…" Harry stopped. It was a large tour group. The people wore mis matched sweaters shoes, socks and pants. It looked like a thrown together outfit, by someone who has deaf, blind and well… stupid. Harry immediately knew who it was: Wizarding Tour Group. He surveyed the group for people he knew and suddenly his face went white. He hadn't expected to find someone he knew. Standing in the middle of the pack, looking very interested was a tall man with balding red hair. He looked the craziest of all. Harry gave him the once over to make sure his eyes weren't deceiving him.

"I'll meet you at the caf Sky, right?" Harry said, preoccupied. He didn't even hear Sky's reply. He was already making his way towards the group. He made sure his hair covered his scar and took of his glasses. He could still see well enough. He ducked into a corner and preformed a quick spell that allowed him to see clearly for three hours. Coming out he tapped the tour guide on the shoulder,

"Yes?" she said.

"Hullo- I'm from the tour association here at Trinity College, just checking for the your tour permit." He said. The lady went white and he could see her reaching for her wand. An old man dressed in what looked like a punk Santa Claus outfit reached out and grasped her hand. He spoke in a low croaky voice,

"Stella, please, I have the permit right here." He reached into his coat pocket and handed Harry a slip of paper. As he suspected a one: Arthur Wesley had made all the arrangements. He looked over the slip and handed it back to the old man,

"Arthur Wesley!" he shouted, "Please come with me! You may resume your tour madam," Harry said quiet politely. Arthur pushed his way out of the crowd looking very nervous.

"W-w-what seems to be the p-p-problem with the papers sir?" he stuttered, shaking.

"Nothing. I'm just taking notes on the organizations that apply for tour licenses. What did that paper say again: Dursley Steel Emporium?"

Arthur looked down,

"F-f-from England, Mr…"

"Potter. Harry Potter."

There was a deathly silence.

"You prat!" said Arthur laughing. Harry pushed the hair above his forehead.

"I haven't heard from you in years, what in fucks sake are you doing in Ireland?"

"I'm a muggle. I'd had enough with all the stupid Wizarding world and being a fucking celebrity that I just left." He put his glasses back on, "I just thought I'd say hi, we never met by the way…" Harry trailed off, patted Arthur on the back and went to the cafeteria were Sky was telling a joke to girls. Harry sat down next to him.

"…and so he says: I'm not an aphrodisiac! I'm a goddamned queer!" the two ladies burst into laughter, "alright, good-bye! Good-bye!" he called after them. He settled down and chuckled,

"Freshman…"

Harry smiled.

"April in town?" Sky asked.

"No, why?"

"Twins." He said, "Gorgeous twins. And I can't handle them both. Tag along, will ya?" he asked.

"I dunno… I don't think I'm up to it tonight, Sky…" Harry's voice trailed off. He couldn't stop thinking about her.

"Well, if ya are, drop by my place tonight… we'll be there ALL FUCKING NIGHT MAN!" Sky laughed, dumped his plate and practically waltzed out.

Harry was shell-shocked. He sat at the table, thinking…

Sometimes I stand… in the middle of the door. Not going left. Not going right. I dim the lights, and think about you. Spend sleepless nights, and think about you. You said you loved me, or were you just being kind…

He took a sip from his water and tossed all thoughts out of his mind.

Or am I losing my mind… 

"Seamus! Get your bloody ass down here!" Dean yelled into the next room. Seamus entered, fresh from a shower. Towel wrapped around his bottom.

"Hmm?"

"Look- bud, you've been livin' here for wha, a year or two now. Don't you think it's time to get your act together and move out?"

Seamus stopped and folded his arms across his chest.

"Dean please…" Seamus folded his arms across his chest.

"No."

"Dean!"

"Seam- you're my best friend but you've got to go! It's ruining our friendship and my life. It's high time you put your life t'gether and move out. Seamus I'm giving you a week. Than you need to leave."

"Dean." Seamus was almost in tears.

"What…" Dean sighed heavily.

"After all these years, you don't want to know me any more?" Seamus whispered. Tears streaming down his face.

Dean's face faltered,

"No- no, it's not that! You're my numero uno! Seamus we just can't live together!"

Seamus, apparently did not here any of this.

"I fucking know! I know!" he pulled off his towel, turned around and threw it at Dean, who caught it, looking puzzled, "I don't need naught from you. Get out of my life. Seamus ran into his room and pulled on some boxers, throwing things into his two suitcases.

Dean ran after him,

"Seamus no- please! We're still friends, right?"

"Look!" Seamus stopped, he wasn't crying anymore but he was wiping the tears from his cheek, "I fully understand. I'm a fag, that's minus a point, I'm a wreck, minus another and to top it all off, I'm ruining YOUR life as well as mine. I get it. I know it." Seamus pulled on some pants and a shirt and grabbed his two bags, "You were a great pal, but as usual, I ruin most everything. I'm sorry it had to come to this…" he sighed and before Dean could say another word Seamus was out the door.

Dean starred at the shut door for a while, turned his head sat down at the kitchen table: head in his hands.

……………………………………………

"Oliver- Harry been by yet?" Seamus asked Oliver, sitting at the bar.

"No. No. And no! He hasn't shown up in the ten seconds you were in the loo. Why you need him so much anyways?"

"I need a place to stay." Seamus said after a long silence. Oliver kept on drying an already bone dry glass.

"Sorry mate…"

"No." Oliver wiped his eyes, "No it's ok, anything I turn usually ends up shit."

The door opened.

"HARRY!" Seamus leapt up.

Harry looked dazed and confused.

"Hey…" he sat down and motioned for a pint.

"Ginny drop by, than?" Harry asked taking a long sip.

"No." said Oliver. Katie opened the door to the back room and squealed.

"Harry! Seamus! To what do I owe tha' honor?" She asked. Embracing both of them.

"I need a place to stay…"

"Looking for Ginny."

They both said at the same time. Katie laughed and Oliver just nodded his head.

"Ginny'll be by any moment and Seamus- you can stay in the room above the pub, right"

"Brilliant." They said at the same time.

……………………………………………….

"Hey Ron…?" Ginny asked cautiously. Sipping tea.

"Hmm…?" He brother replied, sitting at the table, reading the paper.

"Would you be bloody pissed if I told you that I saw Harry and didn't tell you?"

"Yeah- why?"

"Well… I did"

Ron set down the paper. A million questions flooded his mind, but Ginny could mind read the most persistent one,

"Not a chance that he's interested in me," she said. Sighing.

"You know it?" he asked.

"Yeah. Harry's screwing a muggle."

They say glumly.

xX… WELL? R&R! …xX


End file.
